i want nothing more than to live wholeheartedly.
yet it seems i do nothing but help my anxieties and fears
build walls whenever they ask.
sometime soon, though, i must make
the change i know is inevitable.
i must give my life over to love.
i must throw myself into this world
and practice compassion and connection
wherever i can.
still something holds me back.
i haven't harnessed the courage to rise above ego.
i still look for security in image and status and persona.
i still fear defeat and rejection.
and so i limit almost everything i do.
scared i might make mistakes,
scared i might lose.
yes, i can continue like this.
playing the odds,
and picking my spots.
here, living my most authentic self.
there, letting insecurity block out the light.
or i can remember that life's only real when lived through love.
if i believe i am different from you,
i will only notice the difference.
if i trust i am whole,
i'm invited to see
how we connect and unite
into this one.
on days i feel i'm not good enough,
that i deserve to be ignored,
i slip away from unconditional love.
but i need only to awaken to this world,
to all that brings stillness and space,
to the soft sway of trees in wind.
i only need to explore the unknown
and let my heart repeat, "where am i right now?"
until i see the answer is here.