in a shaft of sun

(24)
there's a part of me
who still seeks fame.
who still, in a flash,
would trade everything
to fall asleep obscure
and wake up famous.

the crush of unworthiness i've let build in here
seems solved only through the world's adoration.

instead of prizing fame,
let me tend to this small seed of peace.

let me give it space and light and love.

let me live quietly, anonymously, invisibly.
let me be the cloud
surrendering another shape.
or the silver glint in a shaft of sun.

nothing i love asks for an audience.

even my own heart,
which continues to beat, to play, to whisper, to dance.

how i'm tempted to greet this love
as my old friend who has finally returned.

but my heart has always remained right here,
waiting without worry.

it knew there would come a day.